Home > How to > What are the effects of excessive parental control?

What are the effects of excessive parental control?


One of my assignment topics. So feel free to drop a line or two. Opinions are most welcome and much appreciated. Thanks.
Thanks guys for answers thus far. Let me stress the word “excessive” here. Parental control is fine. What happens when it’s over the limit?

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  1. Laura H
    June 27, 2010 at 11:01 am

    Excessive parental control can result in rebellion on a massive scale. I have a cousin who started to sneak out of the house, have sex and developed a drug problem. Her parents were ultra strict and it completely backfired. The relationship was severly damaged. It was really a sad situation.

    Another problem is if a parent controls every single aspect of a childs life then they aren’t teaching them the skills to cope and make decisions. We have a friend who’s brother is 31 and he is helpless. He still takes his mother clothes shopping!

    Hope this helps and good luck with your assignment.

  2. jigglytoots
    June 27, 2010 at 11:43 am

    overpowering protection from parents makes most children more likely to rebel,

  3. iiiyyyeee
    June 27, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    whenever parents demand discipline from their kids, children tend to think it as excessive control. factually, they are simply guiding their kids.

    The only thing that kids need to understand that there is no one else but their parents who actaully feel genuinely responsible about their life, not these studying NGO’s or the courts.

  4. Starks
    June 27, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    Most likely either of two things will happen.

    Either the child we eventually rebel against all his parents do or the kid will develop very poor social skills.

    Parents have to show their kids some kind of freedom.
    Kids must learn to deal with failure…it’s a natural part of life.
    Kids must also be given the chance to earn trust.

  5. ny2fl
    June 27, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    “excessive” parental control often results in a trouble free teenage life without drama. amazingly, one can grow into adulthood without becoming pregnant, hooked on drugs, or prematurely tied down with the wrong guy/gal. as someone who had parents that I felt were excessively controlling at the time, i now know that i avoided a lot of problems that others encountered. you’ll have plenty of time to do all the things you think you want to do. simply wait until you are matrue enough to make good decisions.

  6. simone m
    June 27, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    I believe that Excessive parenthood is not good, you can teach and set by example to a child what is right and wrong but when they get into school or the real world the decisions they make is ultimately up to them. Whether or not they choose to obey or disobey their parents, the choice is their’s to make. But as parents it is vital to teach our children the importance of life and the choice we make. Punishment is good but not excessively b/c too much of anything is not good, and too little is not good either; this will cause the child one way or another to rebell. So if they get bad grades on their report cards punishment is ok, but it is important to give an explanation of why getting good grades are important and also motivating the child/teenager and telling them that next time they will do better and it is ok. An anology I always use is that God is the Most high but yet he does not control or force us to do anything, he set and stated the rules for us in the bible and it is up to us as humans to obey or disobey them, and whatever we choose we will eventually reap the rewards or suffer the consequence, so it is ultimately up to us to choose the path we want to follow. So parents can follow God’s way and state/explain the rules right from wrong and then let their children decide to make their own decision and they will either reap the rewards or suffer the consequences (by punishments, not going out with friends, driving, ect..). There are also parents out there who do not teach their children what is right from wrong and expect them to automatically know, in this case that is not right, children learn by example and what they see.

    Hoped I was of some assistant
    Simone

  7. d.o.g
    June 27, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    Train a child in the ways that are good and he will not depart from them at a older age.Yes,they will rebel and always think that rules are excessive.But in the long run it will benefit them.So you have to start at an early age ,not wait until there 10,11 or 12 to start,by then it’s to late.They have be influenced by there friends.

  8. Marie C
    June 27, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    Being overly controlling is one of the greatest mistakes a parent can make. Either the children will never be able to form opinions and make their own decisions, or they will rebel and be extremely wild once they are old enough to do so. Parents should lead and guide their children, not control them.

  9. Naturenut
    June 27, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    Being too strict is as bad as not being strict enough. I agree with Laura, that parents that are too strict have children that lack the skills to take care of themselves, they think the world owes them something. Parents that are too lenient have kids with low self esteems, they can be aimless.

    We want to raise our kids to think for themselves and take responsibility for their actions. That means a balance between responsibilities and rewards. If they work hard, they will have the things they need and some of the things they want. If they are a good friend, trustworthy and considerate, they will have many friends. If they do get into trouble, they need to know to face up to it, take the punishment, learn from their mistake, and move on. Not be protected from it or coddled.
    When a parent takes over, suppresses their child’s personality and individuality, the child is left to feel like they are useless and unimportant. From there it turns into, why bother, why me, and then the stubbornness sets in to do anything opposite of what the parent or possibly society wants. Guidance to do what is right and to have respect for themselves, and the freedom to make mistakes, gives a child far more self-confidence. As a child is becoming an adult, a parent should be moving from guardian to friend, not warden to nothing.

  10. gogirl
    June 27, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    Excessive parental control can result in low self esteem in the child. If a child is never show any kind of approval, it could cause severe damage of the child’s morale. Also, it can result in rebellion on the child’s part due to not being allowed to well, be a kid. I can also cause extreme anger issues in the child and may cause the child to withdraw emotionally as well.

  11. Red
    June 27, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    I have a niece who turned 18 this year. Her parents have always controlled her, I think to the point of excess. She was always a good kid, but was never allowed any extra freedom as she got older. Her parents decided that she couldn’t go away to college, that she should stay home and go to the community college there. She had a job and a bank account, but her dad had the password and would check her balance daily and ask her about her purchases, she was not allowed to “go out on a school night” because she had to take her kid sister to school the next day, or she had class–this included running to the store with her friends for 30 minutes to an hour–not what I would call going out. I believe her mother was even checking the history on her phone.

    She always did what she was supposed to in High School, but it only took her one semester of living at home after she turned 18 to–get fired from her job for stealing, get caught shoplifting at another store, and start experimenting with drugs. She came home from work one day, left her car keyes and cell phone on the counter, didn’t say a word to anyone, and moved out of her parents house. She moved in with her boyfriend. I believe she has seen the error of her ways and is trying to straighten things out, and truly believe she was rebelling in order to get away from her parents, but she wasn’t able to take classes this semester, and it has been a struggle for her.

    Her mother won’t help her because “She had everything she could have ever wanted when she lived with us. We bought her a new car, a cell phone, everything. She should have stayed here.” They basically only let her take her clothes with her. She was not allowed to take her furniture, her laptop that was a gift from her grandmother, nothing.

    The thing I don’t understand is that her mother has always said she wants her girls to go to school so they won’t have to rely on a man like she does. I tried to tell her that if she didn’t back off, she was going to create a situation where my niece would move out no matter what and be more worried about making rent than going to school, but she didn’t listen. Thank goodness her boyfriend, who is in college, is encouraging her to go back to school ASAP.

    I think that’s excessive control.

  12. morrigansstar
    June 27, 2010 at 6:10 pm

    if it gets over the line – the kid rebells, hates their parents, complains a lot and ends up pregnant (and not knowing it) more than once, losing the kids cuz she didn’t have enough money to fight for custody….

    true story – i had a “friend” that this happened to. Too bad for her parents though, although they were strict as hell, they were nice people.

  13. Akatsuki
    June 27, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    Basically for your ENL 101 assignment, the main point is rebel. Children always, is and will rebel no matter what. Even though the parents only wants wats best for them.

  14. yoak
    June 27, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    A parent’s control over the child needs to change as they grow older. Example : you do everything for an infant, make all their decisions for them. By the time a child reaches teenage years they should have a good role model and example, but must be free (and encouraged) to make certain decisions on their own. If they are not prepared to handle adulthood, they will expect that level of control and guidance from everyone around them……

    A parent who controls a child’s every thought and action often gets the added bonus of getting to raise them to the golden years.

  15. redhawgs
    June 27, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    excessive parental control, excessive parental CONTROL, to me you can be an excessive parent, pick my kid he’s the best pitcher, she’s the best goalie, listen to her sing, watch him dance…CONTROL….is do it my way, you have no real thoughts, feelings, skills or reason for exisitance except by me. I do not speak from intimate experience, but I have seen it. Control does not give the child the ability to exercise any opinion that is not the parents.

  16. djinky28
    June 27, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    My parents were over barring all my life. As a result they have lost me and my brother. Children need to learn from their mistakes. If they never have that opportunity they will resent and push you away when they are older. I wish you luck.

  17. Kiki2007
    June 27, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    the results are: having a rebellious child who wont talk to you that is never open about he/her self

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