Fetal Alcohol Syndrome And Parenting- Before And After The Baby

Responsibility is a very important word in parenting. Parents should not just decide, ‘Let’s have a baby’ and ignore all other peripherals. When you decide to have a baby, you should realize that you are choosing to be responsible for another life and hence, everything you do would reflect upon it.

The fetal alcohol syndrome and parenting is a very well debated topic. Everyone knows the terrible impact alcohol and tobacco smoke can have on an unborn child. Here are a few very important aspects of fetal alcohol syndrome and parenting.

This article is focusing on the mother because it is the female who carries the baby in her womb and the fetal alcohol syndrome and parenting aspects directly concern her. However men too, need to be equally responsible with drinking and smoking in order to provide as supportive an ambiance to the would-be mother as possible.

If you are a would-be mother who is addicted to alcohol, you need to consider the following steps at once:

1. Inform and consult a doctor about what you need to do to ensure that the baby is not affected by the FAS.

2. Enroll yourself in Alcoholics Anonymous and solicit the group’s help and support in shaking off the habit.

3. Enroll in a detoxification center and get rid of the habit with the help of medical supervision and treatment. Make sure they know you are pregnant; some anti-withdrawal medicines can harm the baby.

4. Surround yourself with photographs of healthy and beautiful babies, so it will encourage you to stay away from the alcohol for the sake of the tiny life that is forming inside your womb.

5. Plan many things for the baby. For example, have shopping sprees, theme parties, baby showers, etc all the time so it will keep you motivated to stay off alcohol.

6. Read many books on fetal alcohol syndrome and parenting and understand the dangers of alcohol and your responsibility as a parent well.

7. Keep in mind that you do not have the right to play with the life of another human being – and if you feel that alcohol will still remain your first love – do not have a baby. It is not only the impact of the fetal alcohol syndrome and parenting that is crucial, it is also how you will take care of the baby after it is born, what type of home you will be able to offer him/her and so on. This is a huge commitment and you should be able to fulfill it.

Ann Merier writes articles about the family . Article topics include diabetes,detox diet,yoga,pilates exercise fetal alcohol syndrome and parenting Quit Smoking

Parenting Toddler Sos: "my Biting Toddler is After our Dog and the Baby!"

Parenting Toddler Biting Question:

“Kelly, my 1.5 year old has taken to biting both the dog and the baby. I’ve tried many things and have read many parenting books but am still without a solution. What can I do? I am worried that he will either hurt our baby or the dog will hurt him”. – Mom Seeking Biting Solution

Parenting Solution to Biting Toddler:

When your sweet child turns into a household vampire, many Moms and Dads are unsure of what to do. Biting is common in toddlers—they lack the maturity and the vocabulary to express their frustration. While biting may be common, it does not mean you need to put up with it. There are plenty of ways to make biting less appealing to your toddler.

Here are five effective parenting toddler steps that can help you solve your biting problem once and for all:

1. Find your toddler’s biting payoff: Ask yourself, “Why is my child biting?” For every negative misbehavior there is a powerful purpose—a pay-off for children. Find your child’s pay-off and you will be pointed in the direction of the solution.

My educated guess is that the biggest reward for your toddler’s biting is your attention! With a new baby needing and demanding so much of your attention (especially if you are breast feeding every couple of hours) your oldest, now has to share your attention—something he never had to do before. A new sibling’s arrival heralds a new era for your toddler—an era in which the sun no longer rises and sets around him. This major life transition requires quite an adjustment from your first-born, who was used to having all your attention to himself.

When children aren’t able to get enough of their parents’ attention positively, they will settle for negative attention. Why? Because some attention is always better than none. So, biting is a powerful hook to take your attention away from the baby and bring it back to your toddler.

2. Remove the parenting toddler hook: As parents we can never truly change our child’s behavior. We can influence it—but ‘make’ them do exactly what we want them to do, when we want them to do it—no. Children only change when they ultimately understand the benefit of the change. The good news is that by changing our reaction to their behavior, we can nudge them in the right direction and start experiencing the positive change we seek.

Decide to change your reaction to his biting. Instead of getting upset, raising your voice, threatening or using time-outs, put your emotions on hold and use a neutral tone. Use the same tone you would with the neighborhood grocer (polite but not overly engaged). Calmly and directly state, “Biting is not allowed.” Then quickly hug your child and remove them from the room OR remove the baby or dog and go about your business. Turn your back on them if need be, but do not become engaged with them (other than the quick hug) at this time.

3. Discourage biting by consistently acting and follow through: Make certain you are not raising your voice, lecturing, yelling or biting back in any way. Any aggressiveness on your part will only teach your toddler that his behavior is appropriate. Each time he bites respond in the nonchalant manner recommended in step two—follow through each and every time.

4. Prevent biting behavior by giving your child what they really want and need: A little of your positive attention can go a long way. With the demands of a new baby, it can be next to impossible to carve out extra time to spend 1-on-1 with your toddler. Yet, if you don’t give it to him, he will continue to demand it with negative behavior. Elicit the help of your husband, family, friends or even a nanny or babysitter to spend time with the baby so you can spend a little more happy play time with your toddler.

5. Notice when your toddler is doing well: I’ve saved the most powerful parenting toddler tip for last. When you see your toddler being gentle with the baby and dog, notice this by saying something like, “Look at how the baby loves to be touched by you when you are gentle. She is lucky to have a big brother like you.”

Biting is an unfortunate solution many toddlers have found to coerce their parents into giving them attention. If parents change their tune by not giving much attention when toddlers demand it, instead giving their attention when their child is doing things they appreciate, they will soon find that biting is reserved for favorite crackers and food only!

Kelly Nault-Matzen, MA, family counselor, corporate parenting spokesperson and award winning parenting author of When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You shares time-tested tools that motivate children to want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! To gain access to more parenting tools and to access your free online parenting course visit www.ultimateparenting.com

You are free to print or publish this article provided the article and bio remain as written and include a link to www.ultimateparenting.com as shown above.

Single Parents Dating After Divorce: Myths Versus Reality

How do myths get started? They’re basically stories that take form as fact when they are repeated but rarely questioned by people who appear to have some authority on the subject. People make decisions and assess relationships based on myths and this can be frustrating, disappointing and even destructive. Expectations become skewed and distorted because people are influenced and guided by information that is not only untrue, but also sets ridiculous standards that are not based in reality. Myths are particularly prevalents and can be damaging when it comes to single parents dating with kids in the mix.

The challenges of dating when you already have children, are countless. The myths that couples experience in step dating are also not unlike the ones experienced in step families. And therefore having good information, fact not fiction, about what you can and should expect, is even more important. Instead of the couple enjoying the luxery of concentrating solely on each other, they have to nurture their new relationship while balancing time with kids who may be transitioning between households. They have to figure out the relationship dynamics with the kids, and be aware of the multiple missteps and pitfalls that can derail the new dating relationship. And most importantly, they have to understand that the success and sustainability of a new dating relationship is dependent on having realistic expectations, being flexible as the relationship evolves, being proactive about the challenges and understanding myth expectations versus reality.

Some of the common myths that impact on single parents dating are:

1. Myth Expectation: We should love each other’s children as much as we love each other And/or we should love our partner’s children as we would our own.

Reality: Just because dating single parents develop a close and loving relationship, it doesn’t mean that they will instantly or ever love each other’s children. Relationships take time and when kids are less than impressed when a parent starts to date, this can slow the process of becoming close and connected. Over time, as friendship and trust grow, a deeper relationship may develop between a partner and the kids, but understand it can’t be manufactured just because the parents have great chemistry. Love for the kids may follow and when it does it’s a huge bonus, but it should not be a condition for the adult relationship. In lieu of love, dating partners, can care for the well-being of their partner’s children, and have respect for what is in their best interests. This creates a much more solid foundation for the success of the relationship and the well-being of the children involved, than the perceived need for love.

2. Myth Expectation: We’ll be one big happy family, like the Brady Bunch, if we spend a lot of time together.

Reality: Kids need time to adjust to a new dating relationship and the worst thing is to throw them immediately or constantly into the mix. They may feel insecure, displaced or even threatened by the loss of time and attention because of a new love interest, so it’s important to spend time alone with them and maintain the security of consistency around their schedule at home. Slowly introduce a new partner and gradually spend time together, being aware of the child’s comfort level. There are distinct stages of development in transitioning into a new relationship and they are different for everyone; kids especially need to move slowly. Remember, they are not usually on the same emotional time table as the couple is

3. Myth Expectation: We need to be equal partners in co-parenting our kids.

Reality: The biological parent has the singular job of disciplining and the dating partner should act only as a friend, assuming the role of coach or mentor. It’s acceptable to emotionally support a dating partner in their parenting role, but taking an active part in disciplining a partner’s kids is guaranteed to inspire resistance in the child, and ultimately resentment between dating partners. It should be avoided at all costs. The issue of children and discipline should be discussed early on so there is no confusion about who is in the parental role. Most often people don’t talk about these issues and just hope things will go well; but this is a recipe for disaster and can create even more confusion for the child(ren) involved.

4. Myth Expectation: Our deep love for each other and devotion to the relationship will take care of any challenges we come up against.

Reality: Single parents dating with kids in the mix face a multitude of challenges on many different levels. Although it’s romantic to believe that problems and issues will work themselves out because of the power of love, the reality is the more informed couples are, the more prepared they will be to deal with inevitable hiccups. Being aware of issues, understanding the reality of myths, knowing what to anticipate and how to take action is a more effective relationship insurance policy than depending solely on the magic of love. Love is undeniably an important aspect of any relationship, but awareness, acceptance, commitment and the willingness to take the time necessary to get to know each other and to begin to appreciate what is required in a relationship that involves children, are absolutely critical ingredients for success.

The Dating Myths that single parents and singles face when children are in the mix, are but one aspect of dating after divorce. Having a reality check goes a long way towards debunking these and other myths and is an important first step in establishing more realistic expectations for your step dating relationships. As two people vision how they see things evolving over time and set realistic and developmentally appropriate expectations, they will be taking the first steps in creating happy, healthy and sustainable relationships that are good for everyone involved.

Yvonne Kelly, MSW, RSW is a Certified Stepfamily Coach and a Licensed Relationship Coach. She founded The Step and Blended Family Institute. Yvonne coaches step dating couples with children, offers Remarriage Preparation and coaches existing stepfamilies to achieve success. To learn more about how to safeguard your step relationships or to find out more about the myths that threaten step dating relationships go to
http://www.stepinstitute.ca

do you think the morning after pill should be offered to minors w/o parental consent?

what affects your answer

and how does your religion view it (please say what your religion is)

i know many say it’s not abortion but i think it is.

i’m doing a presentaion on the diff cultures views on the morning after pill and i want to know other ppl’s view points.
and if you are pro EC, are you also pro abortion? or are you pro EC to prevent abortion?

can a minor in california get a morning after pill with out parental consent?

can a minor in california get a morning after pill with out parental consent? I’m not a minor im 24 I’m trying to help my little sister who lives in a different state. thx for the help guys! : )

Anyone know what happened to the Parental Notification Prior to Abortion Act after the Supreme Court ruling?

I’m doing research, and I needed to know what happened to the Parental Notification Prior to Abortion Act that New Hampshire was passing. I know there was a case that went to the Supreme Court, and the court rfound part of the act unconstitutional. Does anyone know what has happened with the act since it was returned to a lower court?

Do you have to reapply for parental leave after maternity leave is over?

through EI in Ontario
Why is mat leave only 15 weeks, do you have to reapply for parental leave, which I believe is 35 weeks?

Do the docter need parental permission giving your baby shots after having the baby?

I want to know if they ask you before giving the baby shots in the hospital after its being born, or do they just grab your baby and give it shots? I dont believe in giving my baby in the future them so i hope they dont do this. I heard so many people getting bad reactions and sicknesses in the last couple of years from new vacsinations.

Is it possible to regain custody after signing away parental rights?

My husband signed away his parental rights 2 years ago to his son. He was in no position to take care of him, and felt that it was the best thing he could do for his son. The grandparents got custody (not his parents). He would have never disturbed their family, but now the grandfather is in jail, and his son & adopted mom are living on the streets. He is 5 years old and has not been in school, gotten shots, and they are considering foster care as they do not want him anymore. We are now in a position that we can take him and give him a good life. Is there anything we can do? They would rather give him to the state then give him back to his dad so it would be a fight.

Are there many American fathers that after a divorce will terminate his parental rights over his children?

Are there many American fathers that after a divorce will terminate his parental rights over his children, when the mother asked him to do so? In return the father does not have to pay child support. The father knows that the mother never wants him to see his children again, and that is the only way the children will not suffer from a divorce.