Parenting Teens

Teenage development is perhaps the most difficult part for children. Parents find it hard to play their role in this stage of development of their children. Teens want to try many things. They wanted to experiment on things that catched their curious minds. Teens also want to know their identity as a person. They feel guilt, insecure, fear, excitement, and hope as they pass this stage of human development. In that sense, parenting teens is an issue that must be dealt with properly.

Parenting teens nowadays is more difficult than in past years because of far-reaching technological and sociological changes that have occurred. Teenagers have always been exposed to activities, data, and individuals that challenge their families’ standards and values-but never so much as recently. Parents whose own teenage years do not seem so very long ago are finding their children growing up in a changed world. These changes have brought great benefits to society, but problems too. Parenting teens on the other hand, is a very challenging role.

Moreover, families have not escaped the changes taking place in the rest of society. Parent-teen relationships have been dramatically affected- so much so that today’s parents are generally not capable to control their teens easily and effectively. Besides, the demanding approach that may have worked for their parents simply does not work as well as for today’s parents. Hence, parents must learn to adopt with the current ways and means by which teenagers develop in terms of psychological, social, cultural, spiritual, and physical aspects. To continue reading, you may visit My Regency ……

Tagged as resilient and versatile, I believe that facing life’s challenges is done through faith and perseverance. Problems come and go, happiness subsides, yet the cycle will never end as long as I live. There are failures that are hard to face, but rising up, believing in Him, and moving forward are always the easy ways to keep going.

Positive Discipline For Teens – My Out Of Control Teen

When was the last time you were able to talk and fix problems with your teenage son and daughter? Have you been always having problems dealing with them all the time? Teens are indeed difficult to discipline. As a parent or guardian, it is your responsibility to face the challenge of doing tons of things to discipline the teens you’re living with at the home. There are actually tons of positive discipline for teens, here are some of the most important steps you need to follow if you would like to deal things with them:

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Tip # 1: Try To Talk Things In A Calm Way

If you think that teens are very difficult to deal with, then you should ask yourself if you have been shouting at them all the time. Remember that teenagers will seldom listen to their parents or guardian who always shouts at them. If you would like them to understand things clearly, you should talk to them in a calm way and not by shouting at them all the time.

Tip # 2: Understand Them In Every Way

Another positive disciple for teens is by understanding what they are going through at the moment. You must admit that you have been once a teenager and you went through the same problems like them, if you would like to discipline their acts, you must understand them first in order to make things clear for the both of you. If you would be able to understand them, they will surely understand what you want to instill to them at the same time.

Tip # 3: Give Them The Right Punishments For Their Actions

When a certain teenager did something wrong, it’s always recommended that you talk to the young adult and make them understand what they did. In order for them to be disciplined, you can always give them the punishments that they deserve. Remember that you shouldn’t be too harsh and all you need is to only make them realize what they have done and that they should learn from it.

Making sure that you know all the things about positive discipline for teens will really make things better in your household. Teens are not that difficult to deal with, just try to see things as a challenge for you because you are a parent/guardian. Do all of these tips and you will surely discipline your teens and make them understand what they’re really doing. Good luck!

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This author writes about Ways To Discipline Teens and My Out Of Control Teen.

Shattering The Teens Hate Parents Myth

“Teens Don’t Like Adults” Myth

As a father of two teenage daughters (15 and 17) I have continually heard the comment that goes something along the lines of “Whoa, that’s a tough age. I guess you’ll get to talk to them again in six years!”

I have also run into numerous dads (moms too) that say, “Yeah, my kids don’t even want to be around me these days. They are so into their friends.”

The first comment is a myth. The second is a cop out.

Granted, teenagers want their independence, but they still want their parents in their lives. More on this later.

What I believe happens is that parents get intimidated and busy and stop taking the time to ask children simple, conversational questions about their lives.

Nothing can be more intimidating than walking into a room of seven teenagers talking about music or anything, and feeling completely outnumbered, out-cultured, and out of sorts. It is easier to walk away than say, “What’s going on?” It is easier to walk away than ask that new pimply-faced boy you haven’t seen before, “Where do you go to school? “How are the grades going? Where did you go to middle school?” This starts the dialogue. Walk into the teenage fray we must. Take a deep breath, walk in, and ask away!

Let’s face it: we parents are human beings too. And half the time these kid’s parents have stopped talking to them and their teachers are basically time police. You may be the first adult who has asked them a considered question in the last month. People, even teenagers, love to talk about themselves. So if you give them half a chance they will. You can become an oasis of freedom to talk about themselves. This goes for your own children as well. It doesn’t have to be an interrogation. Just a question about school, about a friend, about music. You don’t have to be cool or “in the know.” “Who is that group? Are they popular?” You don’t have to know that Eminem is back with Kim. The key, I believe, is to not give up on the initial push back – or non-push back in the case of teenagers. They won’t be forthcoming. They won’t answer. They may shrug and say “Oh, nothing.” But believe me they want to talk. They are dying to talk. Even if they don’t.

Some how to’s:

1. Be the house they can come to. Let kids gather at your house. Anytime.
2. Food. Have lots of food. Kids (especially boys) love food. Don’t take, “I’m not hungry,” for an answer. Teenagers are always hungry. Food is the lubricant for talk.
3. Don’t be judgmental. I am not saying to let them have drugs in your house. But don’t let the disapproval of a little tattoo or funky hair on your kids friends show on your face.
4. In and out. Don’t hover. Come in, ask a few questions. Then get out. Let them breath.
5. Rules are OK. I like to keep them reciprocal. I respect you. You respect me is my favorite. I don’t talk to you that way, you don’t talk to me that way.

One last word on kids wanting you in their lives: Have you ever met a thirty year old that said, “I sure wish my parents hadn’t been in my life when I was a teenager.” I haven’t. Mostly we hear the opposite. Kids might be confused, they might even be angry. They may even be embarrassed by you – but then again everyone’s parents are an embarrassment. But, you are like the old best friend that you haven’t seen in ten years. Even though they would never tell you, your kids want to see you and most importantly, talk to you.

“Teens Don’t Like Adults” is a Myth. Don’t buy into it. Read a compilation of all the great parenting advice that received from readers over the years.

Paul Banas is a founder of GreatDad.com. He writes articles on stay at home dads, father and daughter bonding, parenting styles, parenting tips and many more topics related to dads.

My Out Of Control Teen – Discipline Teens Review

It can be frustrating to have a teenager who has gone out of control. If you have grown tired of the dishonesty and disrespect showed by your teen or if you can no longer endure the temper tantrums of your teen, what you need is something that can help you discipline teens, like My Out Of Control Teen. This e-book will show you how you can finally put an end to all the heated arguments you have with your teenager, as well as how you can finally see good results from all the effort you have exerted on making your teenager change for the better.

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My Out Of Control Teen will show you how you can better manage the defiant behavior shown by your teenager, and what you can do to keep him or her from having this kind of behavior. It will show you how your teenager can finally have the self control and discipline he or she needs without sending your teen to counseling. You also need not be in parenting classes or read a thick book on parenting to learn how you can do so.

This program has non-traditional parenting strategies that work. It will show you how you can bring about positive change in your household and lessen conflicts between you and your children. In this manner, you will be able to reduce the levels of stress you will need to face everyday.

This program will show you how you can become a better parent so you can also have self-controlled and well-disciplined teenagers.

It is about time that you build better relationships with your teenagers so you can better teach them how to have better control of themselves. Let My Out Of Control Teen show you how you can effectively do so. In this way, you can finally have peace of mind that your teenager is away from trouble.

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This author writes about Discipline For Preteens and Discipline Programs For Teens.

Anger Management for Teens: Self Help Steps to Control Your Emotions

Anger is unavoidable. Feelings of anger are triggered by factors in our environment and are accompanied by certain physiological reactions. Anger management focuses on the negative expression of these feelings. When one externalizes anger, one can mistreat the world around him.

Teenagers have a unique experience with anger. Adolescence is a major growth stage emotionally, socially and physically. Teenagers go through this stage without the benefit of a fully mature brain. Thus, their understanding and ability to self-regulate their emotions is often difficult. There are, however, several ways in which teenagers can gain better control of anger management. Managing anger involves becoming aware of the physiological “signals”, such as blood pressure and heart rate, before the thinking part of the brain is bypassed and the action part of the brain is engaged.

Following are some of the concepts I offer teens:

1. It takes 10 steps before you “lose” your temper. Here’s an example: If I throw a ball to you, you catch it. However, if you were two-years-old, it might hit you in the face. Through trail and error, you have learned to lift your hands up, cup your hands, keep your eyes on the ball, bring your hands together at the right moment, press hard enough to keep the ball in your hands and suddenly you have caught the ball.

This “catching the ball” technique took months or maybe years to master. In the same way, learning techniques to control your anger takes time to learn. Let’s take a look at how we can break down the way we react in a situation to see how we might handle our anger differently:

You ask your mom if you can go out while thinking to yourself: “She won’t let me.” You feel sick to your stomach, your heart races. You feel hot and angry and you’re ready for a fight.
A little too rudely, you ask your mom if you can go out. She responds to your tone of voice and says “no.” You explode and scream, “I knew you were going to say that!” You go to your room and slam the door. You kick the bed and throw yourself down and think hateful thoughts. In order to begin to control your anger, you need to deconstruct your behavior and see all these “steps” you’ve gone through.

2. Prevention is the best medicine. If you understand step 1 and step 2 of your angry reaction, you can prevent steps 3, 4 and 5 from happening. Awareness is the key. Catching yourself before those other steps occur takes practice (like a child learning to catch a ball). You need to find a way to prevent yourself from going too far. In our example, from the moment you thought about asking your mom for permission to go out, you felt and behaved angrily. You need an alternative plan. One alternative during the early stages of anger is to pause and tell yourself, “I’ve got to break this pattern. Acting this way solves nothing. I don’t feel good when I get distressed. I need to calm down and then cope with what I’m feeling.” How do you do that?

Take a deep breath. This allows you the opportunity to plan a different conversation with your mother. Use an external “reminder” to “stop, look, and listen” to different behavioral options. For instance, wearing a certain bracelet, ring or band can be a reminder for you that you need to stop long enough to consider the outcome of the path you are on. Give yourself a break. Go outside for a bit. Take 10 deep breaths. Go to your room, lie down and listen to music. Write a page in your journal. Any of these techniques will allow you the “space” to talk yourself through the problem at hand.

3. Like that child learning to catch the ball, it takes time to learn to control your behavior. In the event that you reach the point of losing your temper and expressing your anger, you need a plan as well. Some have found the following techniques as helpful at times like these: going for a run, punching a pillow, or throwing a ball. Screaming into your pillow can be more productive than screaming at your mother. These physical releases can produce a calmer state in which you can take a look at what led to the angry response and make a plan for the next time it happens.

4. Finally, write yourself a letter. Tell yourself the situations that trigger your anger. Describe the first steps as you move towards an angry outburst. Then, describe alternative plans for calming yourself and dealing reasonably with your anger. Give specific behavioral options that you’ve learned and calm you down at that stage. Also include plans for safe releases of your anger if it goes too far. This letter should be available at all times. Your own words can be your best coach when you feel circumstances getting out of control.

Copyright 2008 Parent Education Group – Reprints Accepted – Two links must be active in the bio.

Laura Doerflinger, MS, a licensed mental health counselor, is the Executive Director of the Parent Education Group at http://www.familyauthority.com/ and the author of the audio book, Emotionally Balanced Parenting.

Copyright 2009 Parent Education Group – Reprints Accepted – Two links must be active in the bio.

When Teens Struggle Parents Suffer

At first glance there appears to be love hate relationship between teens and their parents. Well, Perhaps hate is too strong word. Teens don’t understand why parents cannot relate to them; after all, they were young once (they were teens, too!). Parents, on the other hand, don’t understand why their kids don’t act more responsibly.

A new study confirms that parental behavior can affect how likely teenagers are to join a gang or participate in gang delinquency.

But the study also reveals that the same behaviors that discourage gang activity in teens from one ethnic group might have no effect, or even encourage gang activity, in teens from a different ethnic group.

The same research indicates that gang intervention programs, which often focus on teens’ peer relationships, could be more effective if they also addressed the parent-teen relationship.

Ask any teen to explain what stresses them out, and parents always come up. It is impossible to go through the teenage years without stress.

Now you can see that, not only are you not alone, but also, through the feelings and view- points expressed by real life middle and high school students, that you hold the promises of the future. Hot stones & funny Bones is a must all teens, as well as all parents wishing to understand their teens.

How many times have you read a great book on parenting and then tried to implement what you read without great results? The principles sounded great but they just didn’t translate into real-world application.

Many parents know they have a troubled teen on there hands, as these warning signs will help tell. The question many parents have is “What do I do!” or “what are my options? If you have any suggestions for how to improve this site or any questions pertaining to this site, feel free to go:

http://www.abundantlifeacademy.us

http://www.abundantlifeacademy.info

There are ways to help to manage your teens and all it takes is some effort to find those answers. We know that in today’s society, parenting teens can be a huge challenge and it always helps to receive a little insight from others who have been down that path. Be sure to come back and see us often as we are continually adding information to the site. They serves troubled teens dedicated to getting them back on the right track and back onto the pathway toward their destiny in Christ. Abundant Life Academy can be considered to be a spiritual and academic boot camp for kids who are acting out.

About Author: Monica Craft
For listings please visit http://www.abundantlifeacademy.us/ Online High Schools ? online high school courses . You can also visit http://www.abundantlifeacademy.info/ for Parent Coaching ? Restoring troubled families .

My Out of Control Teen – How to Deal With Troubled Teens

Troubled teens eventually become out of control teens. They often feel troubled so they usually have temper tantrums, clouded judgments and tendencies to go wild or be uncontrollable.

It is not easy to deal with troubled teens. You may eventually feel it is pointless to deal with them. As mentioned, usually they have temper tantrums, clouded judgments and tendencies to go wild or be uncontrollable. However, they can still be turned into better teens. They can still be turned into productive individuals.

Troubled teens can be sent to homes for troubled teens, boarding and boot camp style schools,behavior modification schools, troubled youth programs, and rehabilitation programs. But troubled teens can also be just in their own home, they don’t necessarily need to be sent to any homes, schools or programs. They can just be in their own home with the proper guidance of their parents.

For parents to know how to guide troubled teens properly, they can try reading some parenting ebooks. Nowadays, one of the best parenting ebooks is the My Out of Control Teen by Mark Hutten. Parents can try it. They will learn a lot of things about right parenting. Later, then will finally know how to guide troubled teens properly and how to change them.

There’s always a room for improvement for everyone. Even for the troubled teens which eventually become out of control teens, there’s always a room for improvement for them. There should just be a sense of willingness to become better and also proper guidance of parents.

This author believes that if you find this information useful, you may also want to check out My Out of Control Teen and Mark Hutten.

Parenting Troubled Teens: Self-Control

A little over a week ago, Adam provided us with three great insights for parenting troubled, angry teens. Before reading this article, I encourage you to please read the first article about managing aggressive teens. As a recap, the first three points were

1. The parent should always control themselves.
2. The parent needs to recognize the signs of potential aggressiveness in their teen.
3. If a parent is the source of the problem, they need to remove themselves.

So what does it mean, that a “parent should always control themselves”? It sounds simple and self-explanatory, but isn’t there more to this simple truth? Or, am I just missing the point?

Parenting Troubled Teens Requires Parental Self-Control

I asked Adam if he could elaborate on the first point being discussed. I asked questions such as:

1. The parents are the boss, why can’t they react to their teen’s angry behaviors?
2. What are the repercussions if parents do not control themselves?
3. How can a self-controlled parent calm an aggressive situation with their teen?

So what is the point for parents practicing self control with their angry teen? Some of his answers are as follows. Adam said, “Controlling one’s self IS the point. A parent cannot control the actions of their teen. That’s an ever common problem. The parent attempts to control the behavior of the teen by making it worse (yelling, aggressive behavior, grounding, belittling, etc).

Behavior modification is most effective when it comes from behavior modeling. In other words, the parent MUST set the tone of the conversation. Realizing that the object is to get through the “moment” in a civil, caring and loving way. Even if the outcome is not desirable. With each “modeled” moment, the teen will see new responses to the ongoing situation.

The situation must be dealt with. In other words, the parent should not run around the issue, rather attack it head on being honest and open, BUT in control of their own emotions.”

Parents Cannot Control Their Teens, Even if the Outcome is Not Desirable

The sad truth is that many parents do not control themselves when their troubled teens are acting out. They react, yell, belittle, etc… I’m not talking down to you -the parent- because I know it’s next to impossible to control your actions when your angry teen is yelling at you, swearing, threatening, and even physically demolishing your home and belongings.

Really, what parent is perfect in this? None. BUT, with practice and dedication, you CAN learn how to control yourself when your teen is aggressive and out of control.

Your struggling teen WILL see the change in you, and your teen will learn that even though he/she is angry, they don’t have to respond aggressively. You cannot control your teen, but you can change your response to one that is loving, caring, and civil.

This isn’t easy…we know. But, we encourage you to take these steps in parenting your teen.

1. You cannot control the actions of your teen.
2. You MUST set the tone of the conversation.
3. Your goal is to get through the “moment” in a civil, caring and loving way, even if the outcome is not desirable.

We are here to support you, and if you ever have a question or want a community to talk to other parents about your teen, please join our forum. You are doing a great job, please continue and be encouraged that we are here for you and know what you are going through.

Jordan is the Founder and an author of ResourceToLife.com. The website provides support, resources, and advice for parenting troubled teens. Please come join the community!

Do teens need parental consent for condoms and birth control?

Parental atitudes towards masturbation regarding teens?

Since this is something a friend said she was going through (who feels conflicted about what to do), I wanted to ask: what is your attitude, as a parent, towards masturbation at your household? Do you allow it or discourage it? What have you told your kids? Have you done something specific to try to discourage it, if that’s how you feel?

Thanks, I think she will benefit from it.